<VV> GIANT NEWS -ADZ

[henry kaczmarek]

It's gone past puffing.

Ralph Spoil Sport
Owner, Ralph Spoil Sport Motors
The World's largest New Used, and Used New Car Dealership
In the Beautiful City of Emphasemya




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Harry Yarnell" <hyarnell1 at earthlink.net>
To: "corvairs" <lonwall at corvairunderground.com>; <VirtualVairs at corvair.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2007 6:19 PM
Subject: Re: <VV> GIANT NEWS -ADZ


> Somebody's puffing on the pipe...
>
> harry yarnell
> perryman garage and orphanage
> hyarnell1 at earthlink.net
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "corvairs" <lonwall at corvairunderground.com>
> To: <VirtualVairs at corvair.org>
> Sent: Saturday, March 31, 2007 4:24 PM
> Subject: <VV> GIANT NEWS -ADZ
>
>
>>
>> Reuters News (April 1 2007) -
>>
>> It's going to be even easier to buy Corvair parts. Internationally famous 
>> Corvair Underground Inc. spokesanimal Boo the Penguin answered questions 
>> at a late evening press conference from the company's corporate compound 
>> in McMinnville, Oregon.
>> In a preparred statement Ms. Boo assured everyone that big changes were 
>> just around the next corner. In part, the four main points were -
>>
>> 1) "Corvair Underground Inc. will be open 24 hours a day beginning 
>> tomorrow. The live phone people will work in three 8 hour shifts with the 
>> weekend crew working 2 12 hour shifts. Because of Corvair Underground's 
>> policy of avoiding working on Sunday, those duties will be handled by 7th 
>> Day Adventists, thus assuring a seamless transition." said the feathered 
>> Antarcitian.
>>
>> 2) "Effectively immediatly we will slash all catalog prices by 50% until 
>> further notice. This is being done to make way for a major aquisition" 
>> continued the Bird.
>>
>> 3) "We are proud to announce the aquisition of Major Parts Americana, the 
>> nation's nearly third largest auto parts retailer. While we realize that 
>> they carry very few Corvair parts, thier manufacturing, distribution and 
>> market presence will insure a secure future for Corvair Underground." 
>> opined the oily little fisheater.
>>
>> 4) "Finally, and this is the biggest news of all, my rival spokesmodel 
>> Jack Bunny, has been sacked. Yup, canned, let go, bounced out, a pink 
>> breeze in his pay envelope". Concluded the aviarian with impeccable 
>> absurdity.
>>
>> Reuters news sources have attempted to contact Jack Bunny to confirm or 
>> deny this most caustic development but he is currently in the Mojave 
>> desert touring with Queens of the Stone Age and could not be levitated 
>> for comment. Queens spokesman, Don Van Vliet, stated most presently that 
>> "We've heard of no hare. Nowhere, hear or on the air."
>>
>> If you've continued reading this far through this news article then it 
>> should come as no surprise that I am Gerald McOingo Boingo, barrister for 
>> the Hiltman family. In a company coup in 2001 most of the family was 
>> massicoid by rebels without a guaze. The sole surviving family member is 
>> Perish Hiltman who is currently on location making a very foreign movie 
>> in Zappastan.
>> Over 50 billion of your US pesos is currently being held by the Zappastan 
>> government and if I could only ask you to humbly give me your social 
>> security number, bank account number and date and place of birth I would 
>> make certain that you recieved 90% of that money. How can you lose - but 
>> wait there's more -
>> Mail in your birth certificate with a waiver of authenticty and we'll 
>> double the offer! That means 2 Cap Snafflers - 2 Worn Weasels - 2 Spray 
>> on Hair rings plus the high speed electric vibrating clocks - all at the 
>> unheard of price.
>>
>> I trust this is between you and us. Officials should not be contacted 
>> officially or otherwise. Remember me fondly, and as it says on my 
>> tombstone "I told you I was sick". Duty now, for the future.
>>
>> End transmission.
>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> This message was sent by the VirtualVairs mailing list, all copyrights are 
> the property
> of the writer, please attribute properly. For help, 
> mailto:vv-help at corvair.org
> This list sponsored by the Corvair Society of America, 
> http://www.corvair.org/
> Post messages to: VirtualVairs at corvair.org
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