<VV> GIANT NEWS -ADZ

[Dave Ziegler]

You spelled "Antarctican" wrong. GGGGGGGG
On Mar 31, 2007, at 5:24 PM, corvairs wrote:

>
> Reuters News (April 1 2007) -
>
> It's going to be even easier to buy Corvair parts. Internationally 
> famous Corvair Underground Inc. spokesanimal Boo the Penguin answered 
> questions at a late evening press conference from the company's 
> corporate compound in McMinnville, Oregon.
> In a preparred statement Ms. Boo assured everyone that big changes 
> were just around the next corner. In part, the four main points were -
>
> 1) "Corvair Underground Inc. will be open 24 hours a day beginning 
> tomorrow. The live phone people will work in three 8 hour shifts with 
> the weekend crew working 2 12 hour shifts. Because of Corvair 
> Underground's policy of avoiding working on Sunday, those duties will 
> be handled by 7th Day Adventists, thus assuring a seamless 
> transition." said the feathered Antarcitian.
>
> 2) "Effectively immediatly we will slash all catalog prices by 50% 
> until further notice. This is being done to make way for a major 
> aquisition" continued the Bird.
>
> 3) "We are proud to announce the aquisition of Major Parts Americana, 
> the nation's nearly third largest auto parts retailer. While we 
> realize that they carry very few Corvair parts, thier manufacturing, 
> distribution and market presence will insure a secure future for 
> Corvair Underground." opined the oily little fisheater.
>
> 4) "Finally, and this is the biggest news of all, my rival spokesmodel 
> Jack Bunny, has been sacked. Yup, canned, let go, bounced out, a pink 
> breeze in his pay envelope". Concluded the aviarian with impeccable 
> absurdity.
>
> Reuters news sources have attempted to contact Jack Bunny to confirm 
> or deny this most caustic development but he is currently in the 
> Mojave desert touring with Queens of the Stone Age and could not be 
> levitated for comment. Queens spokesman, Don Van Vliet, stated most 
> presently that "We've heard of no hare. Nowhere, hear or on the air."
>
> If you've continued reading this far through this news article then it 
> should come as no surprise that I am Gerald McOingo Boingo, barrister 
> for the Hiltman family. In a company coup in 2001 most of the family 
> was massicoid by rebels without a guaze. The sole surviving family 
> member is Perish Hiltman who is currently on location making a very 
> foreign movie in Zappastan.
> Over 50 billion of your US pesos is currently being held by the 
> Zappastan government and if I could only ask you to humbly give me 
> your social security number, bank account number and date and place of 
> birth I would make certain that you recieved 90% of that money. How 
> can you lose - but wait there's more -
> Mail in your birth certificate with a waiver of authenticty and we'll 
> double the offer! That means 2 Cap Snafflers - 2 Worn Weasels - 2 
> Spray on Hair rings plus the high speed electric vibrating clocks - 
> all at the unheard of price.
>
> I trust this is between you and us. Officials should not be contacted 
> officially or otherwise. Remember me fondly, and as it says on my 
> tombstone "I told you I was sick". Duty now, for the future.
>
> End transmission.
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