<VV> Explaining to your kids--no Corvair

[Chuck Kubin]

Chris gives a good explanation. I am constantly with
my 8-year-old grandson, who lives a block away and has
been my running buddy since he was 3 1/2 or 4, making
me largely responsible for his actions. I take him on
extensive roadtrips and we go everywhere and do
everything. He's seen some PG-13 movies, as long as
there isn't too much sex, and he's been to the
Bodyworks exhibit, where human bodies are plasticized
and the layers stripped away so you can see how
everything works. He's been to a formal awards dinner
and the ballet.
He's been to major oldies rock concerts. Does the
crowd at a Rolling Stones concert behaves like nuns?
He's seen some marvelously wonderful human actions and
some extremely bad behavior. He can drive a video game
racecar (I don't let him play shooting games) better
than many adults can drive a Cambry, and is great
about spotting a bad driver. At age 5 his favorite
artist was Picasso.
We've interpreted license plates because they are
clever and fun. Sometimes they are just stupid and we
wonder why you'd put something like that on your car.
Sometimes you don't know what it is supposed to mean.
Sometimes you figure it out and wish you didn't.
I'm saying he's exposed to a lot of life, including
many things kids his age just haven't seen. We know
that if you bump into something to use as a morals
lesson, use it.  If he sees a flash of naked skin, and
I react in a salacious way, he's just learned nudity
is a salacious thing and will carry that with him
forever.
There's a lot of monkey see, monkey do in parenting.
Believe me, if you treat something like a big deal,
your kid will treat it like a big deal. If I get
violent, he will get violent. If I slobber over a sexy
woman, he will learn that this is how you treat women.
If I scream at other drivers, he'll beat me to it. If
I cheat, he will cheat.  If I am kind, he will learn
kindness.
Some things aren't socially acceptable, and I explain
them as such.  But I'm not spring-loaded to "offended"
every time I see something that doesn't sit right or
just amounts to people being people. If I gave him the
worst possible explanation to every question he's
asked, he'd be one screwed-up kid already.
Being around Corvairs, one day he will ask me what
FNADER means. He is old enoiugh now to hear the
controversy, and if he is old and educated enough when
he asks, he will get all of the F interpretations.
Until then, "forgive" and "forget" work fine.

Chuck Kubin


--- "Chris C, Warwick RI" <ricorvair at cox.net> wrote:

> The plate ITRUST
> Does it mean it rust, or I Trust?  Or is it an
> elaborate political statement.
> 
> Sometimes I feel like we are the only parents that
> believe it is our 
> responsibility to monitor our children.  Give me any
> series of letters I am 
> sure we can stay they are an acronym for something
> questionable.
> 
> Its easy to explain, that some people are not nice
> and say bad or do 
> things.  The bubble just does not exist.



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