<VV> "If My Car Could Talk" what would it say ?

Wed Sep 7 15:41:39 EDT 2005

Is that what all that chattering was during those long dark nights ?

I thought it was my neighbors, but it was my Corvairs griping at each other 
?

Who knew ?

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tony Underwood" <tonyu at roava.net>
To: <VirtualVairs at corvair.org>
Sent: Wednesday, September 07, 2005 3:00 PM
Subject: Re: <VV> "If My Car Could Talk" what would it say ?

> At 01:52 hours 09/07/2005, J R Read_HML wrote:
>>Just be glad it can't.
>>
>>Attachments (if any) are scanned with anti-virus software.
>>
>>Later, JR
>>'61 Rampside Standard 4/110
>>'65 Monza Convertible 4/140 (times 2)
>>'66 beater Coupe - icemobile 4/140
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Charles Lee" <chaz at properproper.com>
>>To: "Virtual Vairs" <VirtualVairs at corvair.org>
>>Sent: Wednesday, September 07, 2005 2:12 AM
>>Subject: <VV> "If My Car Could Talk" what would it say ?
>>
>>
>>What would your Corvair say, if it could talk ?
>
>
>
>
> "Paint me, dammit!   It's been over 20 years and I'm still wearing the 
> spots of primer over the remains of that dead silver so gimme a break! 
> I'm the oldest Vair in the fleet and I deserve better than this crap 
> you've laid on me about 'gonna paint it this summer if I have time' as if 
> *Anybody* anywhere is gonna buy that tired old lie!."
>
>
> "Where's my turbocharger?   You promised it would be finished last spring. 
> I want my turbo and I want it now!  Just 'cause you put a new top on me 
> doesn't mean I'll forget about the turbo!"
>
>
> (distant shout)   "Hey!   How come I'm still in storage?   It's dark and 
> boring back here!   I'm a '69 and I deserve better than this!"
>
>
> "Well, *I* am a '69 too and nobody drives me!   It's been over a month 
> since I've left the driveway!   And I do NOT get bad mileage, and it would 
> be better than what it is if you'd left me stock so don't give me that 
> excuse!   And I am NOT a storage bin so get this box of wax and carb 
> cleaner and PB Blaster and Bleche-White out of my front seat!"
>
>
> "Hell, *I* got new paint, new chrome, new carpet, nice upholstery and 
> nobody drives *Me* either so don't start with that crap.  And of course it 
> won't be real long before cold weather and since I'm a heater-delete '60 
> from Florida I won't get driven then either.    ...jerk!    And FIX MY OIL 
> leaks, cheapskate!   How much are tube seals?"
>
>
> "Shaddup all of ya.   I wish they *didn't* drive me so much!    Back and 
> forth every friggin' day like I was general transportation!   You'd think 
> they'd cut me some slack but Nooooo-ooooo... just get in me and go and 
> never as much as a thank you for getting them there and back without any 
> complaint.   And nobody bought *me* any carpet to replace these rubber 
> floor mats and my seats are getting no respect either, and yet you keep 
> dragging me off to every dang Vair show or National Convention you attend 
> like I was some sort of everyday conveyance.   I'm almost 39 years old and 
> I get tired now and then!   And I wish somebody would *wax* me on occasion 
> instead of letting that Nantucket Blue get duller and duller!   Yeah yeah, 
> so you got me a space-saver spare, for WHAT?   It's not like the original 
> wasn't still doing its job!   Got yer asses the rest of the way to Ft 
> Monroe when the right rear blew out on Rt 460 didn't it?   And how about 
> an oil change?    Just because I don't leak doesn't mean you can ignore 
> the dipstick and run me on this 5000 mile old shit like I enjoy it, so 
> CHANGE me or I'm gonna hurt ya!"
>
>
> "...what's all the bitching about?   I just got here last spring and so 
> far just about the only place I've been is back and forth to the gas 
> station and around the front yard while my floors got worked on.   Red 
> wagons get no respect!"
>
>
> (from across town)   "...neither do '65 ragtops covered with primer spots 
> spending all their time sitting in the shop doin' NUTHIN!"
>
>
> "Heh.   I'm a Mopar.   I don't say much.  I don't have to.  So, don't mess 
> with me."
>
>
> (  Slavic accent:  )   With gas at almost 3 bucks a gallon, you're gonna 
> be dragging me and my 40 mpg ass out of storage sooner than later, ain't 
> ya?   Or are you still embarrassed to be seen driving a Yugo?    Huh? 
> Are ya?   Keep paying that gas tab... you'll be back.   You know it."
>
> "Wer ist er gemacht samtlich Larm?  ICH war schlafend.   Ruhe!!"
>
>
> "Cool it everybody, you've gone and pissed off the Hersheybar!  Keep it 
> down or he'll never stop whining."
>
>
>
> *****
>
> It's a cruel and harsh life in this driveway.
>
>
> tony..
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