<VV> Let's play "Yank My Rug Out!"

[corvairs]

      Theme music.... (Suppe's  "Gay Blades")

Announcer voiceover -  Yessssssssssssssssssssss! That's right folks, 
it's National Corsa Convention time and time to play
Audience shouts "YANK MY RUG OUT!"
Announcer:  That's right! Yank My Rug Out is the fun game we play EVERY 
year with the so-called "Hospitality Industry".  Promises made by the 
host hotel?
Audience shouts : WORTHLESS!
Announcer: Fair treatment resonable people would expect?
Audience: YOU'RE KIDDING!
Announcer: Last minute unreasonable changes no fair person would expect 
or forsee?
Audience:  GUARRANTEED!
Announcer:  Written contracts?
Audience - WORTHLESS!

Ann:   Now folks, here's today's contestants, Mr and Mrs. Cor E. Vair.  
Mr and Mrs Vair - are you ready to play Yank My Rug Out?
Vair (apprehensively): We guess so.
Ann: And where are you guys from? What brings you to Detroit?
Vair:: We're from all over Mr. Yarrow, and we're coming to Detroit 
because there's nothing like the annual chance to be around the world's 
greatest cars and to see many of our good friends. We also get to attend 
interesting and informative workshops, race our cars, go on tours and 
even ride on a tuna boat.
Ann:  Now, now, Tunaboat Cruise is another game.....but we're here to play
Audience shouts  "YANK MY RUG OUT!

Ann: So Mr and Mrs Vair, do you know how to play the game?
Vair (In desperation) Yesss........Corsa has to deal with the host 
hotel  3 years in advance. Everything gets nailed down - they even get a 
written contract. But as they get closer to the event
Audience THEY YANK THE RUG OUT!

Ann: That's right! And how often does the hotel change the people you 
were dealing with?
Vair: At least 3 or 4 times.
Ann: And the amazing thing is the hotel tries to tell you that what Joe 
told you doesn't hold because Joe isn't there any more and now Ed is in 
charge.
Vair: Then Charlie is in charge a week before the event and even less of 
what we get promised is fullfilled.
Audience: BRILLIANTLY DISHONEST!

Ann: According to the rules of the game you can pick door #1 or Door #2
Adience" (Shouting at ramdom) NUMBER ONE - NUMBER 2!

Ann:  Door number 1 is "Cut off your own nose to spite your face"  Door 
# 2  is "Grin and bear it". Pick door #1 and you could stay miles away 
at a different hotel, which helps hurt Corsa because they had to commit 
to all those rooms at the host hotel...
Audience THAT'LL TEACH THE HOTEL!
Ann: Well, audience not really. Remember, they're a professional hotel - 
we're just amatuer lodgers. If you boycott the host hotel they'll just 
get the money from Corsa. The written contract is in full force - when 
it protects them. The hotel does this every day every year and they have 
it down to a science. Nothing you do will "Teach them a lesson". It's 
just inconveneince to you in the end.
Audience PRETTY ROTTEN

Vair: yeah but nothing new.
Ann: So which door are you going to pick?

Vair : Look Mr. Yarrow. Life isn't perfect. We get little screwing jobs 
from all sorts of places every day - the oil companies, the banks, the 
IRS - The best we can do is pick and choose our battles, but we always 
have to let most of it go by. It's a shame that so many people in a 
single industry operate so badly - but it's not like these things have 
never happened before. We love our Corvairs and we don't want to hurt Corsa.
Audience: BORING!
Ann: So then you don't want to play Yank My Rug Out?
Vair: No - we don't want to - but we will because there really isn't any 
alternative.  We're victims here but so is Corsa. They  try thier best 
to put on a good convention but every year the host hotels  play
Audience YANK MY RUG OUT!

Announcer: So, if you want an annual convention, you pretty much have to 
put up with this game?
Vair: That's about the size of it. We'll take door #2

Ann: Folks, before we play the game we're going to have a word from our 
sponsor - Best Western.
Applause - music fades out  (SOAD's "Cigaro")

Translated from upper midwestern by Unca Lonald



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