<VV> Ultra Parts Komplaint (humor)

[Terry Kalp]

Deer Mr. Dick Rug

I am madder than heck and won't take it anymore.  I had to replace two faulty
Ultra fuel pumps this weekend. The first was on first was on a station wagon I
picked up on Labor Day.  The PO said it was running when he parked it over 10
years ago. Now I'm thinking all those Ultra parts should be in great shape, no
wear in the past 10 years.  First of all, the Ultra battery didn't like the
rest, it was dead, so out comes the jumper box.  Once there was some juice I
checked the points . . . them ultra points have an oxidation problem, you
should look into that, but they cleaned up with some fine sandpaper.  Cranked
it over a few times to circulate some oil, then threw some gas down the carb
throats and it fired.  Well after my bad experience with the Ultra battery, I
wasn't going to trust any of that Ultra gas, so I set it up to pump fresh gas
out of a can.  But it didn't pump, another Ultra failure.  I figured that if I
purchased a new pump, I would have to more than double my investment in the
wagon, so I found one in the Ultra pile that made the ulk ulk ulk sound when I
pushed the plunger in and out.  Zipped the old pump out and put the Ultra II
in . . . now it runs off the can.  After running for about 45 minutes the last
pesky lifter quieted down and the Ultra motor sounded healthy.

Saturday evening it was off to Pep Boys for the September MCCA meeting and
parking lot car show. 11 Earlies and 2 Lates showed up.  Some Aliens disguised
a Corvette owners showed up.  We knew they were Aliens because they were very
friendly, came over and talked to us about our 4 cylinder Corvairs.  (They
must be the ones selling all the 4 cylinder Corvairs on E-bay).

Sunday afternoon I was able to find some time to finish up the accelerator
linkage on the resurrected "Deer Hunter" and fire off the Ultra motor that
filled up the hole that was left when Ned snatched the original, twice-rebuilt
engine for his new silver car.  Splashed some gas, fires, but doesn't run.
Put some gas in the tank, still nothing.  Replaced the faulty pump with yet
another from the Ultra pump pile that made the ulk ulk ulk sound . . . Varooom
Varooom "Deer Hunter's" heart is beating again.

What a ruined weekend. Had two replace two Ultra fuel pumps.  Great weather,
and lot's of Corvair time, even some great Corvair fellowship.   Hey, maybe
I'll get lucky and "ruin" next weekend too <G>.

Terry Kalp